For this post, I wanted to do a roundup of 85 of the best Roald Dahl quotes. Yep, if you know me, this will be a book quotes buffet: quotes from Matilda, quotes from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, quotes from James and the Giant Peach and more! Read on for quotes from 10 of Roald Dahl’s most popular books.Roald Dahl is one of the most beloved authors of children’s literature in the history of the genre. Even though his books rightly do come with some controversy, both for their depiction of almost sadistic cruelty towards children and his own blatant bigotry, his quirky characters, macabre humor, and wild imagination of wonder continue to impact kids today. For me, Dahl remains perhaps the most influential writers on my own work as a children’s literature author.
I’ve revisited a number of his books since starting my MFA in Writing for Children and Young Adults at VCFA, and I’m pleased to find I love them just as much as ever… even if I do recognize when things get problematic.
With all the preamble out of the way, let’s get to it…
85 of the Best Roald Dahl Quotes
The BFG Quotes
Here are 10 of the best quotes from The BFG:
“Don’t gobblefunk around with words.” — Roald Dahl, The BFG
“Two rights don’t equal a left.” — Roald Dahl, The BFG
“The witching hour, somebody had once whispered to her, was a special moment in the middle of the night when every child and every grown-up was in a deep deep sleep, and all the dark things came out from hiding and had the world all to themselves.” — Roald Dahl, The BFG
“‘What I mean and what I say is two different things,’ the BFG announced rather grandly.” — Roald Dahl, The BFG
“‘Words,’ he said, ‘is oh such a twitch-tickling problem to me all my life.’ — Roald Dahl, The BFG
“‘Do you like vegetables?’ Sophie asked, hoping to steer the conversation towards a slightly less dangerous kind of food.
‘You is trying to change the subject,’ the Giant said sternly. ‘We is having an interesting babblement about the taste of the human bean. The human bean is not a vegetable.'” — Roald Dahl, The BFG
“‘Meanings is not important,’ said the BFG. ‘I cannot be right all the time. Quite often I is left instead of right.'” — Roald Dahl, The BFG
“‘The matter with human beans,’ the BFG went on, ‘is that they is absolutely refusing to believe in anything unless they is actually seeing it right in front of their own schnozzles.'” — Roald Dahl, The BFG
“Let your love out.” — Roald Dahl, The BFG
“Dreams is full of mystery and magic . . . . Do not try to understand them.” — Roald Dahl, The BFG
How to read it: Purchase The BFG on Amazon and add it on Goodreads
Boy: Tales of Childhood Quotes
Here are 10 of the best quotes from Boy: Tales of Childhood.
“We all have our moments of brilliance and glory, and this was mine.” — Roald Dahl, Boy: Tales of Childhood
“When writing about oneself, one must strive to be truthful. Truth is more important than modesty.” — Roald Dahl, Boy: Tales of Childhood
“An autobiography is a book a person writes about his own life and it is usually full of all sorts of boring details.” — Roald Dahl, Boy: Tales of Childhood
“The writer walks out of his workroom in a daze. He wants a drink. He needs it. It happens to be a fact that nearly every writer of fiction in the world drinks more whisky than is good for him. He does it to give himself faith hope and courage. A person is a fool to become a writer. His only compensation is absolute freedom. He has no master except his own soul and that I am sure is why he does it.” — Roald Dahl, Boy: Tales of Childhood
“It is almost worth going away because it’s so lovely coming back.” — Roald Dahl, Boy: Tales of Childhood
“Each new day demands new ideas and he can never be sure whether he is going to come up with them or not.” — Roald Dahl, Boy: Tales of Childhood
“All grown-ups appear as giants to small children. But Headmasters (and policemen) are the biggest giants of all and acquire a marvellously exaggerated stature.” — Roald Dahl, Boy: Tales of Childhood
“I usually carried with me six loaded plates, which allowed me only six exposures, so that clicking the shutter even once was a serious business that had to be carefully thought out beforehand.” — Roald Dahl, Boy: Tales of Childhood
“My candle burns at both ends it will not last the night but arh my friends and oh my foes it gives a lovely light.” — Roald Dahl, Boy: Tales of Childhood
“I began to realize how simple life could be if one had a regular routine to follow with fixed hours and a fixed salary and very little original thinking to do. The life of a writer is absolute hell compared with the life of a businessman. The writer has to force himself to work. He has to make his own hours and if he doesn’t go to his desk at all there is nobody to scold him. If he is a writer of fiction he lives in a world of fear. Each new day demands new ideas and he can never be sure whether he is going to come up with them or not. Two hours of writing fiction leaves this particular writer absolutely drained. For those two hours he has been miles away, he has been somewhere else, in a different place with totally different people, and the effort of swimming back into normal surroundings is very great. It is almost a shock.” — Roald Dahl, Boy: Tales of Childhood
How to read it: Purchase Boy: Tales of Childhood on Amazon and add it on Goodreads
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Quotes
Here are 10 of the best quotes from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
“You should never, never doubt something that no one is sure of.” — Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
“I”ve heard tell that what you imagine sometimes comes true.” — Grandpa Joe in Roald Dahl’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
“Whipped cream isn’t whipped cream at all if it hasnt been whipped with whips, just like poached eggs isn’t poached eggs unless it’s been stolen in the dead of the night.” — Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
“But there was one other thing that the grown-ups also knew, and it was this: that however small the chance might be of striking lucky, the chance is there. The chance had to be there.” — Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
“I am the maker of music, the dreamer of dreams!” — Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
“We are all a great deal luckier that we realize, we usually get what we want – or near enough.” — Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
“So shines a good deed in a weary world.” — Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
“You’ll never get anywhere if you go about what-iffing like that.” — Willy Wonka in Roald Dahl’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
“Mr. Wonka knows exactly what he’s doing.” — Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
“So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books.”
—Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
How to read it: Purchase Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on Amazon and add it on Goodreads
Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator Quotes
Here are 10 of the best quotes from Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator.
“‘Hooray!’ said the Chief of the Army. ‘Let’s blow everyone up! Bang-bang! Bang-bang!'” — Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator
“‘A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men,’ Mr. Wonka said.’ — Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator
“‘Anyone can ask questions,’ said Mr. Wonka. ‘It’s the answers that count.'” — Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator
“It was an unhappy truth, he told himself, that nearly all people in the world behave badly when there is something really big at stake. Money is the thing they fight over most.” — Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator
“Charlie stood at the open door of the Elevator and stared into the swirling vapors. This, he thought, is what hell must be like. Hell without heat. There was something unholy about it all, something unbelievably diabolical. It was all so deathly quiet, so desolate and empty.” — Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator
“There’s someone over there needs a helping hand and it’s our job to give it.” — Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator
“Poppyrot and pigwash!” — Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator
“My Great Glass Elevator is ready for anything! In we go! Into the breach, dear friends, into the breach!”— Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator
“The President sucked in his breath sharply. He also sucked in a big fly that happened to be passing at the time. He choked.” — Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator
“Let’s learn to make a speech a day Upon the T.V. screen, In which you never never say Exactly what you mean.” — Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator
How to read it: Purchase Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator on Amazon and add it on Goodreads
Danny the Champion of the World Quotes
Here are 5 of the best quotes from Danny the Champion of the World.
“I will not pretend I wasn’t petrified. I was. But mixed in with the awful fear was a glorious feeling of excitement. Most of the really exciting things we do in our lives scare us to death. They wouldn’t be exciting if they didn’t.” — Roald Dahl, Danny the Champion of the World
“A stodgy parent is no fun at all. What a child wants and deserves is a parent who is SPARKY” — Roald Dahl, Danny the Champion of the World
“I didn’t know which direction I was going in. I just went on walking and calling out, walking and calling; and each time I called, I would stop and listen. But no answer came.” — Roald Dahl, Danny the Champion of the World
“Ah yes, and something else again. Because what I am trying to tell you… What I have been trying so hard to tell you all along is simply that my father, without the slightest doubt, was the most marvelous and exciting father any boy ever had.” — Roald Dahl, Danny the Champion of the World
“But it’ll cost the earth!” — Roald Dahl, Danny the Champion of the World
How to read it: Purchase Danny the Champion of the World on Amazon and add it on Goodreads
Fantastic Mr. Fox Quotes
Here are 5 of the best quotes from Fantastic Mr. Fox.
“I understand what you’re saying, and your comments are valuable, but I’m gonna ignore your advice.” — Roald Dahl, Fantastic Mr. Fox
“I think I have this thing where everybody has to think I’m the greatest. And if they aren’t completely knocked out and dazzled and slightly intimidated by me, I don’t feel good about myself.” — Roald Dahl, Fantastic Mr. Fox
“‘Badger: ‘The cuss you are.’
Mr. Fox: ‘The cuss am I? Are you cussing with me?'” — Roald Dahl, Fantastic Mr. Fox
“When you’re writing a book with people in it as opposed to animals, it is no good having people who are ordinary, because they are not going to interested your readers at all.” — Roald Dahl, Fantastic Mr. Fox
“‘I therefore invite you all,’ Mr Fox went on, ‘to stay here with me for ever.’
‘For ever!’ they cried. ‘My goodness! How marvellous!’ And Rabbit said to Mrs Rabbit, ‘My dear, just think! We’re never going to be shot again in our lives!’
‘We will make,’ said Mr Fox, ‘a little underground village, with streets and houses on each side – separate houses for Badgers and Moles and Rabbits and Weasels and Foxes. And every day I will go shopping for you all. And every day we will eat like kings.’
The cheering that followed this speech went on for many minutes.”
— Roald Dahl, Fantastic Mr. Fox
How to read it: Purchase Fantastic Mr. Fox on Amazon and add it on Goodreads
James and the Giant Peach Quotes
Here are 8 of the best quotes from James and the Giant Peach.
“‘My dear young fellow,’ the Old-Green-Grasshopper said gently, ‘there are a whole lot of things in this world of ours you haven’t started wondering about yet.'” — Roald Dahl, James and the Giant Peach
“‘Poor Earthworm,’ the Ladybird said, whispering in James’s ear. ‘He loves to make everything into a disaster. He hates to be happy. He is only happy when he is gloomy.'” — Roald Dahl, James and the Giant Peach
“The walls were wet and sticky, and peach juice was dripping from the ceiling. James opened his mouth and caught some of it on his tongue. It tasted delicious.” — Roald Dahl, James and the Giant Peach
“Well, maybe it started that way. As a dream, but doesn’t everything. Those buildings. These lights. This whole city. Somebody had to dream about it first. And maybe that is what I did. I dreamed about coming here, but then I did it.” — Roald Dahl, James and the Giant Peach
“Come right up close to me and I will show you something wonderful.” — Roald Dahl, James and the Giant Peach
“Everybody was feeling happy now. The sun was shining brightly out of a soft blue sky and the day was calm. The giant peach, with the sunlight glinting on its side, was like a massive golden ball sailing upon a silver sea.” — Roald Dahl, James and the Giant Peach
“We are now about to visit the most marvelous places and see the most wonderful things!” — Roald Dahl, James and the Giant Peach
“Then they would roll these handfuls of cloud in their fingers until they turned into what looked like large white marbles. Then they would toss the marbles to one side and quickly grab more bits of cloud and start over again.” — Roald Dahl, James and the Giant Peach
How to read it: Purchase James and the Giant Peach on Amazon and add it on Goodreads
Matilda Quotes
Here are 12 of the best quotes from Matilda.
“So Matilda’s strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world like ships on the sea. These books gave Matilda a hopeful and comforting message: You are not alone.” — Roald Dahl, Matilda
“The books transported her into new worlds and introduced her to amazing people who lived exciting lives. She went on olden-day sailing ships with Joseph Conrad. She went to Africa with Ernest Hemingway and to India with Rudyard Kipling. She travelled all over the world while sitting in her little room in an English village.” — Roald Dahl, Matilda
“Matilda said, ‘Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous. Go the whole hog. Make sure everything you do is so completely crazy it’s unbelievable…'” — Roald Dahl, Matilda
“I’m right and you’re wrong, I’m big and you’re small, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” — Roald Dahl, Matilda
“It’s a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful.” — Roald Dahl, Matilda
“‘I’m wondering what to read next.’ Matilda said. ‘I’ve finished all the children’s books.'” — Roald Dahl, Matilda
“All the reading she had done had given her a view of life that they had never seen. If only they would read a little Dickens or Kipling they would soon discover there was more to life than cheating people and watching television.” — Roald Dahl, Matilda
“If you are good life is good.” — Roald Dahl, Matilda
“And don’t worry about the bits you can’t understand. Sit back and allow the words to wash around you, like music.” — Roald Dahl, Matilda
“There is little point in teaching anything backwards. The whole object of life, Headmistress, is to go forwards.” — Roald Dahl, Matilda
“I’ve always said to myself that if a little pocket calculator can do it why shouldn’t I?” — Roald Dahl, Matilda
“What she needed was just one person, one wise and sympathetic grown-up who could help her.” — Roald Dahl, Matilda
How to read it: Purchase Matilda on Amazon and add it on Goodreads
The Twits Quotes
Here are 5 of the best quotes from The Twits.
“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” — Roald Dahl, The Twits
“Mr. Twit was a twit. He was born a twit. And, now at the age of sixty, he was a bigger twit than ever.” — Roald Dahl, The Twits
“What a lot of hairy-faced men there are around nowadays.” — Roald Dahl, The Twits
“No one who is good can ever be ugly.” — Roald Dahl, The Twits
“Here I come, you grizzly old grunion! You rotten old turnip! You filthy old frumpet!” — Roald Dahl, The Twits
— Roald Dahl, The Twits
How to read it: Purchase The Twits on Amazon and add it on Goodreads
The Witches Quotes
Here are 10 of the best quotes from The Witches.
“It doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like, so long as somebody loves you.” — Roald Dahl, The Witches
‘She might even be your lovely school-teacher who is reading these words to you at this very moment. Look carefully at that teacher. Perhaps she is smiling at the absurdity of such a suggestion. Don’t let that put you off. It could be part of cleverness. I am not, of course, telling you for one second that your teacher actually is a witch. All I am saying is that she might be one. It is most unlikely. But—here comes the big ‘but’—not impossible.’ — Roald Dahl, The Witches
‘You can write about anything for children as long as you’ve got humour.’ — Roald Dahl, The Witches
“‘I am a mouse! You wait till my father hears about this!’ ‘He may think it’s an improvement.'” — Roald Dahl, The Witches
“REAL WITCHES dress in ordinary clothes and look very much like ordinary women. They live in ordinary houses and they work in ORDINARY JOBS.” — Roald Dahl, The Witches
“A witch never gets caught. Don’t forget that she has magic in her fingers and devilry dancing in her blood.” — Roald Dahl, The Witches
“But this is not a fairy-tale. This is about REAL WITCHES.” — Roald Dahl, The Witches
“Children should never have baths,’ my grandmother said. ‘It’s a dangerous
habit.’ ‘I agree, Grandmamma.'” — Roald Dahl, The Witches
“A witch is always a woman. I do not wish to speak badly about women. Most women are lovely. But the fact remains that all witches are women. There is no such thing as a male witch.”
(My own thoughts: I love women and I love witches)” — Roald Dahl, The Witches
“My grandmother was the only grandmother I ever met who smoked cigars.” — Roald Dahl, The Witches
